The term "muckery" perfectly captures that muddy, chaotic feeling we often encounter in life. I’ve realized I’ve been a lifelong Tough Mudder—without ever running an actual race—navigating the emotional muck created by trusting relationships when well-meaning guidance sometimes led to confusion and self-doubt. This journey has been about overcoming self-sabotage and the fear of putting my true self out there.

I recall a significant instance around the age of 18, though similar occurrences happened many times earlier, when a well-meaning parental figure expressed their concerns about my independence with a list of "can’ts." (This includes tone, words, behaviors, and even inaction!) I learned that their fears were more about their own transitions and motivations than about me. As my children began to leave the nest, I found myself, albeit reluctantly, confronting my own projections onto them, making this reflection even more meaningful.

One crucial lesson I’ve learned is that when we allow the metaphorical mud of others to seep inside us, it can turn into something like a parasite, draining our energy and well-being. This often happens when we take on too much of others' emotional baggage or unconsciously adopt their beliefs and behaviors without honoring our own inner wisdom. Instead of nurturing healthy relationships, we may end up embodying their struggles and supporting their unhealthy motivations, which can lead to a poor relationship with ourselves and those around us. This not only diverts us from our growth path but can also muddy our own journey.

This “muck” can warp our perceptions, causing us to project negativity back onto our lives, resulting in confusion and disconnection. Just like an unwelcome parasite, these influences can sap our vitality, making it essential to recognize and release what no longer serves us. This allows us to reclaim our authentic selves and cultivate healthier connections. Engaging in self-reflection about how we relate to everything around us can be enlightening. It's fascinating to observe our responses to our shared humanity, especially with the understanding that all things are impermanent (but that’s definitely a topic for another blog!).

Life's Messy Lessons

Life teaches us lessons in the messiest ways. When I think of Tough Mudder Runs and Spartan Races, I’m reminded of the beauty in chaos—the mud, the slips, the laughter, and the camaraderie. These events symbolize the struggles we face, where each obstacle represents our journey through confusion and self-doubt. Though I’ve never participated, I feel a connection to those who believe in themselves and support each other through the muck.

The Literal and Figurative Muck

"Muckery" refers to both the literal mud of a race and the emotional chaos we experience in our lives. When we slip and slide, often laughing with friends, it reflects our internal battles—those unseen splats of emotional mud that weigh us down. Just like in a Tough Mudder, we emerge covered in dirt but with a sense of accomplishment, having faced our emotional muck head-on.

Trusting Ourselves

In my journey, I realized I often placed too much trust in the opinions of others—masters, parents, and leaders—leading to cycles of self-doubt and confusion. I allowed this misplaced trust to cloud my perceptions, avoiding accountability while naively believing in their authority. Recently, I was challenged to look beyond the surface of my life, confronting my motivations and relationships—not just with people but with all aspects of my life. This humbling experience felt like navigating a muddy obstacle course, but it was necessary. I began to understand the ancestral patterns I had inherited and the roles I unconsciously accepted.

Digging Deep

Through this process, I recognized that I had attracted individuals who sought to elevate themselves at my expense, much like obstacles in a mud run that we help each other overcome. It became clear that it was time to change course. I realized I had been elevating others instead of cultivating my own healthy motivations. This awareness is particularly crucial in the realm of marketing your life's work, where even those on a spiritual path can sometimes become predatory. True leaders are those who follow their unique purpose, grounded in moments of truth rather than being swayed by trends. It's all about being present in each unfolding moment and staying alert to see through the mud.

This newfound insight has allowed me to embrace my unique way of thinking and learning, even when it feels uncomfortable. I now trust myself as the source of my growth, which has become a powerful way to evolve into the best version of myself. These curious gifts have led me to take small steps forward, embracing my individuality and moving beyond the muck.

Embracing Clarity

As I lace up my shoes to get back into running—and perhaps explore a Tough Mudder or Spartan run—I embrace the lessons learned. I welcome the mud as a metaphor for the messy, imperfect journey of life, reminding me that through chaos, there is growth, laughter, and connection. Each splatter of mud represents a step toward clarity and self-awareness.

Let’s dig deep together, embrace the muck, and emerge stronger and more self-aware. We can navigate the challenges ahead, finding joy in the journey—even when it gets messy. The answers are ONLY within you, just waiting to be uncovered!